how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
