Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
