why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
