I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She said her name was "party"
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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