I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
