very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
