Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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