Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
