btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
