Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Randomize
