kristin has been a bad kristin
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
