i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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