First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
