bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
