there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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