operation have a gay friend backfired
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
