Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
