he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
