It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Randomize
