I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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