Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize