Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
