I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
