Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
