his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize