I want to make a zoo with you.
My pussy is not your playground.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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