So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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