strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
