I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
