need another drink. this is the easiest way
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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