i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
