Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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