I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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