is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
