As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
