You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
