So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
