Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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