kristin has been a bad kristin
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
