And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
