Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
