so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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