While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
