I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize
