YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Randomize
