i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
