Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
