You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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