she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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