wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
