I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
