My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
