her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
There r osticjed everywhere
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
