i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize