it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
