we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
