Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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