If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
