So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Randomize