Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize